Osso To Broome

Day 19: Learning from Leveque, 5th. Lieutentant’s Log

2007-09-18T17:20:00.000+10:00

The team awoke at Leveque after having been told that meals were not available from the restaurant on arrival, as we were once again, misinformed, under informed and just late getting to a destination.

This was something we were accustomed to and were able to, instead, digest the information that we had a fifteen minute walk in the dark to make it to the takeaway provider that closed in 10 minutes .Frodo somehow managed to turn this into 30 mins. arriving sweaty and disorientated to the amusement of Wedge who had removed the maps from his grasp and then sped off. The Fisherman’s basket, sans basket, resplendent in non biodegradable bleached wrapping paper proved popular.

Thus began the dawn, and our joy at our location. Somehow we were perched on the point with stunning views in a direction that the darkness of the previous night had concealed. The great sun god Ra arose and beckoned…..

The Robinson Crusoe like dwellings had prompted unparalleled camaraderie from the members and fishing was the order of the day. A local inhabitant had hired us his boat and after a 2 kilometer trek through the dunes we arrived at the launch site. No rods, bait or tackle.

The unparalleled camaraderie was about to evolve into something unforeseen, as a bait gathering mission from the rocks was about to become a burly collection exercise, as the unsuspecting Wedge was stalked from behind by the long suffering, knife wielding, Frodo.

Just as well we had booked in to the restaurant as the bait was apparently as attractive to the fish as it was to us.

Gal, Teflon and Squeaky hung out at the café, wondering if a general all points alert should be activated, as the small vessel which had disappeared around the point , some hours ago had not be resighted.

Finally the weary, sunburnt hunters returned and rudely disturbed Teflon, who had finally reached the one interesting point in a long volume. Page 102. Marble counter tops and love fulfilled. Teflon’s retelling of the storey attracted the attention of the entire group.

Cape Leveque’s rocky forms reminded us of the gorgeous Gorges we had seen earlier, only in miniature.

Satisfied in having crossed a continent, three time zones, at least two deserts, traveled 6000 kms. from Bass Strait to the Indian Ocean and arrived in the tropics, we were somehow transported in mind and spirit to a Bruce Brown moment - an endless summer

Thus concludes the voyage of the 0-to-B and the log of it’s crew. We have endured the slings AND arrows of outrageous fortune and in the process are now nobler in mind.

Friendships forged in the cauldron of the interior will endure like the Tanami sands, like grit in your eyes and the indelible layer of red film.

We have overcome the difficulties of serious mechanical failures through innovation and resourcefulness and yet never managed to quite grasp that an early start would mean an early arrival.

Our journey has inspired us to seek solutions, answers and new sights, the physical having been previously traversed and mapped leaves the former as the realm of the new brave and inventive.

The journey then continues.

Day 18: Broome or Bust

2007-09-17T23:04:00.000+10:00

Following the departure of Gal’s faculties into the spiritual never-never, a new force was needed to guide the team to its ultimate destination.

Latent leadership qualities emerged in the Wedge as he hatched a plan for a perfect pelaton. The riders aimed their machines toward Broome, and sped in stunning formation for the final 250 kilometres.

Upon arrival, a symbol was sought to document the moment as testimony to the completion of the ride. Broome does not possess a gateway image (we photographed ourselves under a roadworks sign), rather it is all about the beach, Cable Beach.

Breakfast on the beach was the fitting reward for our efforts, and the team feasted on tasty morsels and regaled stories of a spectacular ride. Self congratulations was short lived as there was still much work to do.

The local population was indifferent as the team unpacked and repacked the support vehicles, rearranged the gear and rushed the ailing trailer to emergency. On this penultimate day of the trip, much preparation for the handing back of the vehicles and bikes was required using precise logistical strategies, something that had deserted the team to date.

Collectively the group shifted mentally into cruise mode as the formal part of the mission was completed. Our next destination for some R& R was Cape Leveque, situated 201 kilometres to the north. The Wedge had been commanding like a demented dictator, and in a final moment of madness both he and Wolverine led the troops directly up Cable Beach into the sandy yonder. The truck and trailer both came to grief, bogged in the murky morass at Nudie Cove.

Gal snapped back into action in response to this decay in discipline. He installed Frodo and Evel as the new crack unit, charged with the responsibility for leading the rabble up Cape Leveque Road.

Road was probably a generous description. The track was more a red sandy luge, furrowed out of the landscape. Our intrepid heroes ground and slid the Suzukis north, while Wolverine, Teflon and Gal whimpered in the Toyotas. Wedge fought back and flayed the Landcruiser up the walls like a half pipe, while Squeaky calmly plotted his course through the motoring madness.

Retired General Gal finally slipped into a sea of senility. He was arrested for grog smuggling by the local constabulary. Gal, a confirmed teetotaler, had been running the evil fluid for years, hidden behind his mask of propriety. Squeaky tried to help and is seen here reaching for the satellite phone to call legal aid.

We hobbled into Cape Leveque, and were transformed by ethereal qualities in the landscape and an evasive attitude to resort planning and time structures. We had reached our own dreamtime, lazing in the lap of true beauty.

Day 17: Kimberley Dreaming

2007-09-17T23:00:00.000+10:00

The team awoke exhausted on the banks of the Fitzroy River, reclining in safari tents, proud of their achievements the previous day.

The task for the day was to traverse the Kimberley high plains across to Derby, in a dreamtime tour of the gorges on the Gibb River Road, the last dirt track before we reach Broome.

After riding through a burnt plateau, our first stop is the Gelkie Gorge, where the team touched water for the first time in weeks. Massive limestone walls defined the path of the Fitzroy River, and provided a resting point for several fresh water crocodiles, positioned strategically to excite the passing parade of lens snapping tourists. Wolverine and Frodo lapsed into a trance like state in simpatico with the stories of the dreamtime.

He may not have made it on to Mount Rushmore, but Tricky Dickey graces the walls of the Kimberley. There are plans to fashion the image of other world leaders such as Bill Clinton inhaling, or even John Howard, but some wise members of the team suggested that he may have fossilised already.

The intrepid riders returned to the track and battled their way through a string of obstacles. Chief rider Gal led by example, by climbing every mountain, fjording every stream and following his dream. Frodo stayed back, in awe of the leadership displayed by the master, only to be cleaned up by Wedge in apparent control of the fast approaching and wildly careering truck.

Frodo suggested we visit his extended family in the caves at Tunnel Creek. Here the throng emerge from the black lagoon, and are drawn to the light in a throbbing devotional frenzy, in deference to the sun gods.

The team escaped from the primordial clutches of the tunnel people, and swiveled and wobbled their way into the distance. Evel was light years ahead of the others in riding prowess, and had sufficient time between stops to satisfy his passion for anthropology, botany and the wonders of the natural world. He would analyse and theorise on the texture of native grasses. It was Evel who explained to the team, that the boab tree was not a genetically modified construct designed to incarcerate wrongdoers, but a desert fig with a thyroid problem.

The Gibb River Road summoned the team toward Derby. A dusty and hazy path pointing to the edge of the continent. Spiritual Leader Gal became transfixed by the setting golden orb, and was drawn to the end of the Derby Pier in an irrational and other worldly transportation of the mind and body. His devotees were left lost and confused, unable to muster a plan for the final step to their ultimate destination.

Day 16: The Tanami Tamed

2007-09-17T22:55:00.000+10:00

Actually waking up intact after a night spent at Wolfe Creek gladdened the heart of the team. The regular routines of the morning began to unfold.

Squeaky pounded the dust to the sounds of Vangelis, keeping the Adonis well prepared for the grueling days ahead. Squeaky had proven to be a very adept chef, creating a bush penne amatriciana for the team the night before. Packing a healthy dose of chilli, it made a night of sleeping in a confined space unpleasant for some.

The Wedge took a less vigorous approach to the new day and slowing started blending into the landscape.

Field Marshall Gal summoned the troops and laid out the plan for the final assault on the Tanami. Firstly he sought a report on how seven architects, builders, engineers, project managers and an international financial consultant could miss the real camp site and an adjacent clearing last night, and why we had to set up our base on a road. He decreed that the answer lay in the force of Wolfe Creek and ordered a sortie to the crater.

Many million years ago, a massive meteorite gouged a giant hole in the desert, forming a primeaval coliseum like space. Teflon contemplated the significance of this geological catastrophe and sought inspiration for the ride ahead.

After another 150 kilometres of corrugated hell and undulating dusty corners through cattle station territory, the end was in sight. Teflon embraced the bitumen as a long forgotten friend. As the road temperature soared over 40 degrees, it was fortunate that nothing sticks to Teflon and vice versa.

The Tanami had been tamed. The group embraced again (not unlike officers in the British Army), in a moment of self congratulation and vigorous back slapping. The moment was only a temporary highlight, a small victory in the overall theatre of operation, a now known known, for the remainder of the continent remained unconquered.

The group aimed the machinery toward Fitzroy Crossing, with a minor incursion into Halls Creek. The power of the Kimberley landscape with its rocky folds and vast plains overwhelms with its raw beauty.

The team had passed through a few indigenous communities, and while not possessing the wisdom or authority to judge, were sufficiently moved to question whether current policies would rectify the situation. We visited Yiyili, a community of some 300 people. The schoolteacher escorted the group past a gallery, elders sitting and painting and sleeping school children. We felt a sense of hope and committed a small amount of money on behalf of Southern Chances to assist children in their pursuits.

The local bovine population welcomed us into the Kimberley.

Day 15: Nightmare at Wolfe Creek

2007-09-12T02:59:00.000+10:00

Refreshed from a good nights sleep, the team began to contemplate the day’s journey.

Squeaky had stepped up to join Wolverine as one of the Iron Chefs for dinner and breakfast. The day started ominously as Wolverine used Squeaky’s personal plate as a meat tray. Now Squeaky is a vegetarian Adonis, and particularly sensitive to intrusions on his personal herbivorian space. The issue was resolved amicably, but the omens were not good for the day.

Early morning activities included bike skills training at Evel’s suggestion. Exercises included a slow race and a slalom course around bush objects.

The grind through the dust continued, as the kilometers passed endlessly through the morning.

Eventually the border with Western Australia was reached, revealing a spindly entrail into the distance.

Disaster struck as the super size corrugations gained revenge on the ailing trailers. Vigorous argument erupted between Frodo and The Wedge on the intricacies of trailer repair, with Frodo once again throwing himself onto the ground, displaying his new pants to the passing wildlife.

Evel suggested driving practice down the Tanami as a diversion from the mechanical stresses. His efforts in coaching Gal in the fine points of golf would be enough to make Greg Norman choke.

The spiritual connection that Wolverine held with the crater at Wolfe Creek, intensified as it grew closer. The electro-magnetic crossover between the two strengthened, effectively buzzing the wiring on Wolverine’s machine. His bike was rendered completely useless and ground to an agonizing halt.

The team still managed to proceed through the Western Australian desert

Passing through local communities opened our eyes to the dilemma of the indigenous population living in a western environment.

The mechanical collapses retarded the progress of the team in their quest to reach Halls Creek. A last minute dash was made to Wolfe Creek in the eerie darkness. Buffeted by deep sand tracks, the team became completely lost and set up bush camp for the evening in the only clearing they could find, a dirt road. They nervously awaited the morning.

Day 14: Creatures of the Desert

2007-09-12T01:38:00.000+10:00

After a restful night in paradise, the team prepared themselves for the first assault on the Tanami, a wake in fright.

The tradition of the desert was embraced, the appropriate gear was donned, a mixture of fishnet and armour, putting on the Alexander Downers.

The road was shared with other pieces on heavy metal, trucks swerved at the sight of our progress.

Further mechanical calamity struck. The relationship between Frodo and Gal was continued in it’s enlightened sense of cooperation, engaged in an orgy of trailer spring reconstruction and shackle tightening. However a new hero emerged, in the guise of driver Graeme. His invention of a primitive timber device to resolve the dilemmas of the trailer, gives rise to the name of his new identity, The Wedge.

The new drivers failed to master their role as masters for the expletive free environment, as they were the chief offenders. Following the crisis of the trailer, the extent of fines on Gal would equal the GDP of a small African country.

The team passed through vast plains and along the endless gravel line snaking it’s way into the distance. Silent sentinels of the desert watched the passing parade, indifferent to the effort and suffering borne by the riders.

A destination was reached along the infinite path. The team sought refuge in the flat lands of the rabbit, camping in the grounds belonging to two immortalized characters of the desert, Bruce and Jaqueline.

Legend has it that Bruce threatened one of the Leyland Brothers with a shotgun upon finding the said outback explorer on his back verandah. Regardless of the truth of this rumour, Bruce would probably be supported by the majority of Australians exposed to the endless repeats of Ask the Leyland Brothers.

The team thanked the proprietors of Rabbit Flat for their anecdotes and assistance, and bunked down for the night, sleeping restlessly with the thoughts of the journey ahead.

Day 13: Road To Tanami

2007-09-09T07:56:00.001+10:00

After an emotional morning bidding farewell to our comrades, The Assassin and Smokin’ Jo (plenty of hugs but very masculine and no fondling), the team initiated the new drivers into the rhythm of the trip. Every day holds promise and grand ambition, only to be thwarted by mechanical catastrophe.

From an impromptu inspection of the equipment, Gal discovered the looming disaster. The seemingly prosaic issue of trailer shackle bolts rekindled a long and passionate affair between Gal and his long forgotten friend Frodo, as they greased, unbolted and fiddled their way back into a new kind of blissful bonding.

Our new friends and drivers were overwhelmed by this turn of events. The first man Chris was initially amused, but was jolted back into the harsh reality of the desert. His desire for cleanliness and order, have been evaporated by the dry Tanami air. His new identity will be Squeaky, for those entitled to know.

Our second man Graeme, a laconic and entertaining raconteur, responded by a withdrawal into Northern Territorial behaviour. His normally lively demeanor has been transformed into the fixed gaze of the long distance desert traveller.

The road from Alice lay ahead. The haunting threat of the Tanami was blunted by a new bitumen road that extended itself relentlessly into the landscape. Exhausted by the trauma of the day, the team sought refuge in an oasis at edge of oblivion.

While the team busied themselves in washing and other domestic chores, Teflon was absorbed by the local wildlife and the passing parade of silver headed bus dwellers. He was able to do this as nothing sticks, and his condition remains pristine.

From a frustrating and finally comforting day, the team contemplated the corrugated prospect that lay ahead on the Tanami.

The road that must be tamed.

Day 12: Out of Breathe

2007-09-09T07:55:00.000+10:00

Where we encounter roads from another planet, suffer sever fatigue, witness an explosion, come to grief in the sand, watch as The Assassin and Smokin’ Jo are called away to resolve a cultural crisis in Kazakhstan, and welcome two new crew members.

After some consultation and confusion, we managed to set out from Kings Canyon although there was some debate as to our destination. Earlier, Teflon and Frodo were seen walking the Canyon at dawn, and thanks to Rebecca at the resort for your help. We immediately encountered severely corrugated roads with ditches and bumps as we started out on the Mereenie Loop.

The Assassin was traveling at breakneck speed and was advised to slow down

This however was no deterrent and there was a subsequent explosion which left us once again face down in the dust.

We continued on through the afternoon with heat and exhaustion becoming real factors.

We continued on the loop where amateur art critic, Wolverine took us past the house of Albert Namatjira.

Eventually we managed to traverse the Loop and sought refreshments with the cowboys in Hermannsburg.

A quick trip down Palm Valley where we viewed some interesting melons, team BMW came unstuck in the sand, and Gal racing to the rescue suffered a similar fate.

Arriving at the end of the first chapter in our journey in Alice Springs, we were joined by our new drivers, Graeme and Chris. They were promptly appointed as the new fine masters for the expletive free environment – today’s tally was again a healthy $38 with contributions from Gal 5, Smokin’ Jo 5, The Assasin 4, Frodo, 3, and Teflon 2. We think the educaton process is having an effect. Wolverine, Teflon, Gal, and Evel soon made their way to the hotel.

From there we made our way to the last supper and after playing Rolf Harris with the locals, the team reflected on the journey completed over the past few weeks. The morning brings the commencement of our trek across the Tanami and our most difficult challenge yet.

Day 11: On The Road Again

2007-09-07T08:47:00.000+10:00

Where we leave behind the comfort of Yulara, make some four and two-legged friends along the way, and are forced to introduce fines for swearing with extraordinary results.

After spending an eventful morning once again fixing the vehicles and repacking, we made our way to the Uluru Cultural Centre for a little education and the purchase of some dramatic indigenous art pieces by Gal and Evel. From there it was onto the bikes for the trip to Kings Canyon.

Along the way, we met an inquisitive Emu who took a particular interest in refueling our vehicles

and a working dog who apparently found some leaks in our vehicles.

The expletive free day was not eventuating so stricter measures were introduced with The Assassin and Smokin Jo being appointed fine masters, with a set rate of $2 per expletive or gesture with intent. The judges decision is final, and proceeds with be donated to Chances. At the end of the first day, the running total was Gal on 10 for swearing and another 5 for bad singing; Frodo 6; Assassin 2; Smokin Jo 2 , and Teflon 1, but we couldn’t make it stick. The total value at the end of the day was $50. The crew will try to do better tomorrow.

We then moved on towards Kings Canyon, taking time to stop at Kings Creek Station for a coffee and dangerous times.

Once again we stopped to admire the wild flowers,

had a sunset hike in the Canyon

where Evel sang a few bars of “Daddy Cool” and responded to a few dingo calls – it was difficult to tell the difference, and Wolverine showed Frodo the sights.

We then managed to enjoy a meal at the local bush bar where they have both kinds of music (country and western) and Teflon showed his talents on the table.

Tomorrow we will make the trek to Alice and the end of the first chapter of our journey.

Day 10: A New Dawn

2007-09-06T09:38:00.000+10:00

Where we bookend the day with a small rock, have a car repaired only to break down again, and in between, Gal and Frodo show us their extreme mountaineering skills.

The crew managed to roll out of bed and join the convoy of Japanese tourists to view the dawn between Uluru and Kata Tjuta. In the early morning desert chill, we viewed the indigenous art on the backs of our riders and the spectacular sunrise.

After a wonderful all you can eat buffet breakfast, we headed over to the Valley of the Winds (not inappropriate for this trip!) and the 7.5 km hike which awaited us. With Frodo leading the way and Gal providing the commentary, we meandered through the rocky gorges delivering a rousing rendition of “rawhide”.

Wolverine was keen to point out the feminine aspect of the formations.

Evel confirmed our suspicion that he was a mountain goat in a previous life, while the Assassin was keen to get a gecko in his sights.

From here we returned to Yulara for some R&R by the pool with the team unveiling sculpted bodies and enjoying the world’s most expensive cocktail.

Frodo collected a vehicle from the mechanic (+ new clutch) and we headed off to Uluru for another 5 km walk around the rock

followed by a sunset viewing and then surprise! The car wouldn’t start.

Fortunately Frodo waived his magic ring and we were soon on our way to the backpackers den for a few drinks followed by dinner.

Tomorrow we look forward to resuming our adventure and an expletive free day.

Day 9: Mechanics Log

2007-09-05T15:37:00.000+10:00

Where we lose a vehicle, leave behind the mounds of Coober Pedy, uncover the latest eagles drug scandal, and come face to face with the buns of steel!

The day commenced with the news that the car that only a day before was cactus, was a lemon – so after many phone calls, we managed to procure a replacement. After many attempts at packing and repacking the vehicles, and much assistance and morning tea from Desert Traders, we finally departed on our 740 km journey to Yulara.

With Teflon and Wolverine on the bikes, we immediately encountered an eagle with attitude and an obvious substance abuse problem.

While Frodo and Smokin Jo decided to take time out for a picnic in Kulgera.

Also spotted en route was a road train carrying cattle giving us tips on the condition of the Tanami, while en route to the rock, Gal couldn’t help but point out each cow, tree, oncoming vehicle, and even the white lines on the road.

After much consultation between the drivers and the ring bearer,

and after passing increasingly interesting terrain with wildflowers in bloom, we finally completed our dash to Yulara.

Many congratulations to Teflon, Wolverine and Evel, who displayed incredible stamina, and even more incredible backsides, riding most of the day. We are looking forward to our rest day tomorrow, and sunrise over the rock.

Day 8: Mission Impossible

2007-09-03T23:37:00.000+10:00

Our task, should we choose to accept, is to get two vehicles and two trailers to Coober Pedy by 10am. The second vehicle is cactus and so it and its trailer will need to be towed over the entire 166km journey over unsealed, corrugated, cow dung covered, kangaroo infested road in the most isolated part of the country. Your team, consists of the 3 crack (and they have a lot) members of the team – The Assassin, Smokin’ Jo, and the team leader, Frodo. We have included their secret dossiers for your perusal.

As usual, this message will self destruct in 10 seconds…Good Luck!

The team set out in the early hours and were soon in trouble, overshooting the turnoff and continuing down the Oodnadatta Track. On realising our mistake, the disabled vehicle had to be towed in reverse back to the turnoff - hopefully we were now on the right track!

We continued on for a while until the cable snapped at which time Smokin Jo decided he would pull the vehicle himself. The Assassin used his advanced rope skills to tie a particular knot which would allow the team to reuse the cable when the knot was undone – of course we could not get it undone. This was also considered an opportune time to indulge in a nutritious breakfast of Summer Rolls.

Eventually, under Frodo’s inspired leadership and promise of a dust free ride (not!), we arrived in Coober Pedy with the Assassin having close shaves with a semi and a roundabout. The damaged vehicle was then taken to a garage where we will await the verdict on the possibility of its repair.

The team then managed laundry for the first time (including some interesting fossilized socks and took a tour of the Breakaways. In the process they came upon the Dingo Proof Fence built by miner Timothy Tam to keep the Victorians out.

In the morning, Frodo will continue his quest to repair the vehicle and we will then be on our way to Yulara.

Day 7: Café Baghdad

2007-09-03T13:26:00.000+10:00

Father’s Day! Where our heroes enjoy a parting brew, enjoy an artistic wonderland, and watch as their equipment is put to the test, with alarming results…and we realise that not every eventuality can be planned for… and all the team become poets.

We spent the early hours investigating the town of Marree from different angles, before having a parting coffee at the roadhouse and setting out on the Oodnadatta Track.

Before long we stumbled on an extraordinary sculpture park, with a bell selection which Gal was soon chiming into with gusto – the team was thankful that he didn’t give up his day job.

Other items included various alien pieces, an aviation dedication, and even a giant dog.

From there we continued up the track to the southern tip of Lake Eyre where we had lunch, our second flat tyre, which the assassin promptly changed, with the help of the team while the iron chef’s prepared an exotic lunch of…. sandwiches.

This was followed by a romp on the shores of Lake Eyre,

a trip to the hot springs, where the druids circle was revisited

and then disaster….

A simple case of bad timing (chain) and a vehicle was disabled… a whole cast of mechanics was assembled in no time, and even a step ladder for Frodo.

The vehicle was towed some 60 kms to William Creek where we had a wonderful dinner with pineapple garnish, enjoyed the hot mud showers, and settled down for the night.

The morning will see the car crews towing to Coober Pedy at dawn for extensive repairs which could seriously affect the ability of the team to continue on the current schedule.

Day 6: Lost in Space... and there is a lot of space.

2007-09-02T10:09:00.000+10:00

Where we go searching for fossils, we complete the full set of nicknames, and leave behind the crocodile wrestler and Mick Jagger’s cameraman in Parachilna and make our way to Maree…. And in the process pass 2,000 kms.

The day started with breakfast at the Prairie Hotel, where we lost Glenn’s mushrooms, but did find him a nickname, “Smokin’ Jo” for his propensity to burn essential things including his arm and some vital pieces of equipment. We proceeded to Brachina Gorge where Evel went in search of fossils (other than those making the trip).

The crew once again got stuck into Smokin’ Jo’s nuts,

Gal had a quick nap in the sand under the shade of his bike (which we were forbidden to photograph), and Frodo made a mad dash through a river to escape attentions of Wolverine, but forgot to close his visor.

Meanwhile, we nearly lost a trailer over a cliff, and after losing ourselves in the valleys and spectacular rock formations,

we resumed our northward trek to the end of the sealed road at Lyndhurst – where our trek took on a new direction and meaning.

We moved past the ochre cliffs and on to the dusty ruins of Farina

where we found ourselves searching for the elusive shadow of the assassin

and finally on to our destination of Maree where the accommodation was modest.

We dined on the bbq menu, heard about the Lake Eyre dragons, and once again completed our meals with a scoop of vanilla ice cream which was claimed as intellectual property by some of the party. We end the day wondering whether we will be able to connect to our wireless technology in this remote area, or if we should start laying the cables.

Day 5: Stardate 31st August 2007

2007-09-01T10:59:00.000+10:00

The last day of winter, where we learn not to mention…. Oops can’t mention it! We ride around a bit and end up at the Paris Hilton (Parachilna). We see lots of road kill, and then have some for dinner.

The happy campers pitched their tents for the first time (well, all except Gal, who slept in his trailer – oh well, all stars get their own trailer), and enjoy a late night espresso at the camp café.

We all went to bed with high hopes, Ray’s were later somewhat deflated, as was his mattress, and most did their own private chainsaw impersonations while they slept. We awoke in the morning to stiff competition, Wolverine’s boots were the subject of a roo stir

however under the stern instructions from General Gal, we managed to retrieve the situation. Also, many thanks to Rose at the Wilpena Pound resort for allowing us to use their technology. We also thank the people from the Arkaba HS who donated the trip around the station.

So it was to Arkaba that we headed off for our first real test of riding skills, where we encountered extreme trails,

extreme views, and rocky knoll that looked like a perfect place for a stoning. The Assassin was spotted lurking in the long grass

and Evan “Teflon” Vertue (because even at the end of a long day, no dust will ever stick to him!) was almost ready to call it a day,

but fortunately, “Evel” (Knievel) Ray took over and showed his superior skills

and poise and directed us to Mcleod’s lookout and convinced us of the right way to Broome

From there we set off through some picturesque winding roads before Gal, Teflon, Wolverine, Evel and Frodo eventually ended up at the Parachilna station waiting for the next train.

The crew then enjoyed a wonderful feral feast (kangaroo, emu, goat, and camel) at the Prairie Hotel before calling it a night.

We were all left wondering whether we still had the backbone for the trials ahead.

Day 4: Scotty's Journal

2007-08-31T09:57:00.000+10:00

Where we met a real Australian character, dance in the desert, and become amazed at the diverse landscapes presented to us.

At dawn, we sought out the desolat landscapes at Baratta.

Hugh dropped in on us at the shearer's quarters and imparted some invaluable advice regarding our travels in the area.

In particular, when you see one emu, always be aware because there will be a second one that will "line you up". Many of us were left counting our fingers after your handshake! (also many thanks for your hospitality, it is greatly appreciated, as is your generous donation).

We moved on toward Hawker, taking time out on the say to "groove to Keb Mo.

The bikes powered on through the desert until the Finders Ranges came into view, the landscape changed as we reached Hawker which is obviously the culinary capital of Australia, the egg and bacon sandwiches being the peak of dining (but they did have special bbq sauce).

We moved on through magnificent flora,

eroded creek beds, abandoned farmhouses

and Gal's new shed,

until we reached Wilpena Pound, a magnificent geological formation where we pitched our tents (or trailers, in Gal's case) to camp outdoors for the first time.

The Iron Chefs once again attended to the gastronomical welfare of the group with the massage conga line illustrating the dubious ascent of Man or the team.

The Assasin promptly went in search of more victims and located some inspiring natural phenomena instead, including some gothic sulphur formations.

Tonight we will enjoy tentland and look forward to wherever the winding road will take us...

Day 3: Drivers Log

2007-08-30T10:48:00.000+10:00

Where we learn that teamwork is imperative, where Lyndon befriends a local, and we witness the miraculous return of the prodigal son. And more importantly, after 1,194 kms we reach dirt roads and immediately have to call the commando team into action.

The day started with running repairs at Bungaree Station. Frodo supervised the welding of the trailers,

while Wolverine went missing for a few hours only to be discovered suspiciously leaving a bottle shop in Clare. Gal Hayward went to the doctor and was given a few minutes to live.

While this was happening, the team explored Bungaree Station and located the new NHA company car,

The latest work/life balance tool, and a quantum upgrade in office technology

We also wish them every success with their bold upgrade plans.

We finally took to the road around midday and made our way to Orroroo for lunch and as our final launching place for our assault on the Flinders Ranges

Lyndon befriended Smalltown Bob, an interesting local, who in no time at all was telling Lyndon where to go, and exactly how to get there.

Lyndon promptly told Bob where to go and exactly what to do when he got there. We believe the budding friendship ended when Lyndon suggested that Bob go and mow his lawn.

Upon resumption of our journey we passed through Carrieton where, after a total body reconstruction, and well before doctors’ orders, the champion and hometown crowd favourite “Gal” made a stunning recovery and appeared on his bike for the first time this season just in time for the first off-road experience of the trip.

The team took heart from this unexpected turn of events and powered off into the stunning horizon, past kangaroos, rabbits and parrots and other various local species on the dirt road to nowhere.

Not 10kms down the road disaster struck. Sagi (aka the Assassin for his habit of cutting down team members in their prime with his camera and then doctoring the results) was on the receiving end of an assassination attempt himself, which resulted in a dramatic tyre blowout. Glenn in the trailing vehicle immediately reached for the phone… can you get RACV out here? Many questions were asked including “how many Israeli tank drivers does it take to change a tyre?”

After spending some considerable time face down in the sand, a few locals passed by and offered the required instruction and we were soon back on the road and on our way to Hugh and Susannah Martin’s farm at Baratta.

Immediately, the iron chefs – Wolverine and Glenn - went to work whipping up a bush dinner of unparalleled excellence.

A long day awaits us tomorrow as we head into the Flinders Ranges and Wilpena Pound. We all went to sleep with visions of Bob mowing his lawn...

Day 2: First Mate's Log

2007-08-29T00:18:00.000+10:00

Where we learn some important lessons… 9:30 departure really means sometime just before lunch, and if you send 5 men on bikes together in the same direction, 20% of them will arrive at the destination within a reasonable time.

The day kicked off with an extreme biker model shoot prior to departure with Jim the photographer and the Mildura Weekly. This was immediately followed by a hasty exit from town 2 hours later. Worthy of a mention also is Frodo’s new Fluoro helmet with auto cleaning systems,

and Peter doubling as “Wolverine”, the evil x-magician.

The wheat belt gave way to the big sky horizon, and before we knew it, we were in South Australia.

Sagi entreated the quarantine officers with his exotic accent and before we knew it there was a cavity search on the cards. Speaking of cavities, Grumpy “Gal” Hayward – (“Gal” being short for “galvanised” – everything has to be… even his hair is galvanised to his skull), broke a molar munching on Glenn’s nuts and by evening he was off to the dentist to have his teeth galvanised.

Before long we were at Banrock Station for our midday lunch (well at least 1 bike and 1 vehicle were)… the rest rocked up at about 2:15. In the end, the food and wildlife were great and Evan’s bush track riding on the way out left us wondering where the road ended and the bush began.

We headed for the Ferry at Morgan, interspersed with spectacular turquoise glimpses of the Murray River, and then on toward the horizontal landscape of the distant Burra Hills. Frodo donned the mankini and threatened to take the WWF Crown from Borat.

Eventually we moved through the Clare Valley.

and into Bungaree Station, a magnificent 19^th century station - we watched the lunar eclipse from the wide balcony where we got double the value with various “moons” on display.

From there it as into Clare for a quick dinner at the “Middle (Earth) Pub” drinking a wonderful ElDredge Shiraz (obviously there is a Mexican connection we are not being told about).

Stay tuned for day 3 where we see the emergence of the final rider “Valentino” Hayward with our first real off road experience and Iron Chefs Peter and Glenn challenging even the most experienced of pallets.

Day 1: Osso to Mildura

2007-08-28T08:46:00.000+10:00

Captains Log

Melbourne to Mildura…. And after 565 kms we are still alive and kicking …

The day started off with a treat at Cafe Osso in Hawthorn, much coffee, eggs and bacon (luckily there were no lightning strikes on the chosen ones).

We were bid farewell by many important dignitaries including family, friends, colleagues and more importantly, Terri Bracks the patron of Western Chances, Ted Bailleau, the leader of the opposition and Denis Oakley, one of the founders of Southern Chances, who later found a plane to Mildura to meet the team at the Grand Hotel for another auspicious welcome.

Also seen at the farewell was “Napoleon” Nelson whose parting words resonated with the team as it set off on its exciting journey.

You will always be close to our thoughts in our travels, for we are now a fellowship of only seven, Evan, Lyndon, Ray, Peter, Sagi and Glenn, with only one hobbit in sight, one “Frodo” Collins. The task set for the next few days is to invent nicknames for each of the crew (mostly so we have something to talk about on those lonely outback nights).

After a 2 hour ride meandering through the spa country, we reached Harcourt (many thanks to the Harcourt Deli for its kind donation) where the bikes were loaded onto the vehicles and we set off for Mildura. Lyndon was suffering the effects of an extreme dose of equine flu which should keep him from running in the Mildura-Clare weight for age. The first injury of the trip was also suffered, a burn from a hot bike exhaust, due to severe stupidity.

On arrival in Mildura, a warm reception awaited us with Vern Knight, one of the founders of the original Chances program, the Mayor of Mildura, John Arnold, Denis Oakley, Keith Richards (obviously Mick was otherwise engaged) and numerous Chances representatives, friends and beneficiaries.

The reception at the Grand Hotel was followed by a sumptuous dinner at Seasons Restaurant where we were joined by Jo & Fiona and most importantly, one scoop of vanilla ice cream proved to be the most popular desert by a landslide.

Photos were delayed due to the late arrival however we will be dusting off our leathers and tattoos in the morning and burning rubber on our way to Banrock Station and eventually Clare.

Who knows what awaits us in the guise of a tranquil winery lunch…. Stay tuned for the next episode where bikers rock Clare (but sheep stay indoors).

Day 1: Leaving Melbourne

2007-08-27T10:00:00.000+10:00

A few photos from the Osso Cafe as the team were sent off in style...

Cafe Osso - a big thanks to Marisa and the Osso team!

Top left: Peter Dredge (rider) & Sagi Aloni (support crew)
Top right: Richard Collins (rider)
Bottom left: Mrs Terry Bracks - Chair of Western Chances & Rev Dennis Oakley - Chances Co-ordinator
Bottom right: Ray Pobjoy & Evan Vertue

Departure from Cafe Osso

Support vehicles

O to B Team - riders and support crew

Training Camp - Bonnie Doon

2007-07-27T12:41:00.000+10:00

The team is swinging into full gear with a recent training camp taking the riders through the beautiful surrounds of Bonnie Doon. Here are some photos of the fun:

Peter, Roger, Lyndon and Glenn catch a breather.

Peter, Lyndon, Richard and Roger take in the view.

Osso to Broome: the full story

2007-06-02T08:56:00.000+10:00

6 grumpy old men and their motorbikes
5,000 kilometres across australia
18 days of all-terrain adventure
& the opportunity to help give children a chance

‘OtoB’, apart from the obvious meaning “Oh to be”, is derived from the starting point of this journey: Café Osso (O) in Hawthorn, Melbourne, to the finishing point in Broome (B), Western Australia.

The main objective is for six riders and their support crew to realise their dream to travel over some of Australia’s greatest outback country with a touch of adventure, while raising money for the “Chances” Programs. These programs support disadvantaged children and young adults with their education and give them a chance to fulfil their dreams.

The journey commences on Monday, 27th August, will cover 5,000 kms and take 18 days of riding.

The Riders:

NHArchitecture: Lyndon Hayward, Roger Nelson, Peter Dredge.
Southway Management Limited: Evan Vertue.
Sixth Julwood: Ray Pobjoy.
Jinton: Richard Collins.

Support Crew:

Glenn Fleisher, Chris Arms, Sagi Aloni and Graeme Holdsworth .

Sponsorship/Donation

Help us to help ForCHILDREN (Australia) Inc. raise more than $100,000 to support young people with their education, through the ‘Chances’ Programs so they can realise their potential. We are asking for your support to invest in our cause by donating to ForCHILDREN (Australia) Inc. The cost of the trip is fully funded by the participating individuals.

All contributions are tax deductible.

Please download the form to make your tax deductible contribution by cheque to

ForCHILDREN(Australia)Trust account addressed to:
Attention: Denis Oakley
Coordinator
ForChildren (Australia) Inc
P.O. Box 2626
Cheltenham 3192

Our thanks

We wish to extend our thanks to Contributors.

A note of thanks will be published in the Australian Financial Review in mid October which will also confirm the final sum raised. Please advise if you would like your participation to be anonymous. All contributors will be entitled to refer to ‘Chances’ Programs in their Corporate Social Responsibility report. Members of these programs and auspicing bodies will be pleased to visit your company to explain to staff how the funds and mentoring program are managed. Please contact:

Denis Oakley
Co-ordinator
272 Charman Rd.
Cheltenham, 3192
t: 03 9584 6863
e: denis.oakley@optusnet.com.au
www.forchildren.org.au

Thanks to:

Vehicles provided by:
Car Connections
www.carconnection.com.au

Mystique Printers
www.mystique.com.au

Peter Bennetts - Photographer
www.peterbennetts.com

Chances’ Programs in Victoria

Victoria is very fortunate to have three ‘Chances’ Programs - Southern Chances, Mallee Chances and Western Chances. The key feature of these ‘Chances’ Programs is that the assistance gets to where it’s needed - the children and young people who have a passion to achieve but lack the financial and sometimes emotional support to enable them to realise their full potential. Almost 1000 children in Victoria have already benefited from the support of the ‘Chances’ Programs. These recipients are now in Universities studying medicine, engineering, law and commerce, in TAFE Colleges doing welfare courses and trade training, or pursuing music and other cultural studies. NHArchitecture was a founding financial supporter of Southern Chances, launched in October 2006. ForCHILDREN (Australia) Inc. established the Southern Chances Program in partnership with Connections.

We are indeed very grateful that NHArchitecture and the participants of the ‘OtoB’ bike ride are lending their support towards sponsorship for these programs, as well as providing the opportunity for more people to hear about the success of the ‘Chances’ Programs in Victoria.

Thank you NHArchitecture for your commitment to young Victorians.

Meg Bartel
Board Member
ForCHILDREN (Australia) Inc.

Case Studies

Michael Kirk
Medical Student
When Michael completed his VCE the possibility of him going to University was very remote indeed. That’s where ‘Chances’ stepped in. Now in 4th year Medicine at Monash University, he said; "‘Chances’ supported me financially and encouraged me to go places I could only dream about. ‘Chances’ gave me all the support I needed to fulfil my destiny. They have been behind me from the start, relieving the financial burden that my course places not just on myself but also on my whole family. I’m well on my way now but without their practical support and encouragement none of this would be possible."
- Michael Kirk

Wendy Miller
Law Graduate/Articled Clerk
Herbert Geer & Rundle Lawyers
“Thank you to the ‘Chances’ Program for believing in my abilities and providing me with the chance to progress my desire to study law. It has meant a great deal to me. I can now proudly say that I am pursuing my career in law, but without your assistance I would have struggled.”
- Wendy Miller